Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.
I visited my favourite site today. It's been a while. Its one of those rare always-brings-smile-to-your-face-full-of-real-jokes-sites.
I had a coup de coeur for the diet jokes. Am on diet. Been a week now and no,I don't know how much I've lost. Not yet. I don't want to end up discouraged when getting on the balance. I'll weight myself in another week time. 
I think its psychological with me. I don't always feel overweight and I just have to start dieting to feel thinner. Why is that? Psychological.... My sister loses weight so quick its a sin. *Sigh* And like I've mentionned somewhere, I hate grapefruit in the morning. I had 1/2 a grapefruit this morning. The diet said I should.
According to a weight chart I read, I must weigh around 20kgs less. I believe, I'd disappear if I ever do. But maybe I should forget the diet and just follow this rule: "There's only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people." *Sigh*
:-)
"Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."
"He once went on a diet. Three hundred farmers declared bankruptcy."
"He believes in a balanced diet: a beer in each hand."
"A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter."
"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies."
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
"He was so fat that he could only play seek."
Balanced Diet: What you eat at buffet suppers.
Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
Fat: Energy gone to waist.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Overweight: Just desserts.
Reducing: Wishful shrinking.
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group."
"It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake."
Building Your Shoulder Muscles – Secret Weightlifting Program
This weightlifting program will have you lifting 50-LB weights in weeks!
For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building your arm and shoulder muscles.
You might want to adopt this 3 days a week. This is for older people. Younger people try it at their own risk. This is working well for me.
Begin by standing straight, with a 5-LB. potato sack in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute. Relax.
After a few weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks, and then 20-LB.potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50-LB. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight out for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, start putting a couple of potatoes in the bags...
Five Stages of a Female's Life
1. To Grow Up
2. To Fill Out
3. To Slim Down
4. To Hold It In
And
5. To Heck with it...
This one if off subject but just wanted to share the smile!
Library’s No-Return Policy
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, “Get lost! You won’t bring it back.” :-)
There's alot more from where the jokes come from.
Thanks J*! And you're right about staying who we are!!!!
Fitèna (Comment this)
Don't wanna diet, jeans don't fit, feel fat...i hate controlling my food, I can for a time but then there are those chocolate bar and red wine MOMENTS. I control what I eat 90% of the time, but since marraige to a man with a hollow leg I gained what, 30 lbs? then with the kid? Another 30? I was so big I couldn't even believe I ever fit into those size 8's and 6's. My saving grace? Nursing. I am ALMOST where I were when I got married...plus or minus ten pounds.
The best thing I have found is establishing good habits...that's my 3 miles, my standard happy breakfast of oatmeal with raisins with an ever diminishing amount of brown sugar, my spare lunches, my water at night instead of ice cream. There is something good in the ascetic, it lends pleasure to the times when red wine and chocolate must happen.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU. I sometimes REALLY enjoy that grapefruit, with enough sugar :o) (Comment this)
Webmaster (Comment this)