Life Goes on.....
You guys remember my saying that last week's posted (or the week before) were all about death? Suley, remember I told you I had a lot of free time to spare for the meme and that I was going to start it right away. I haven't and now you say : "Didn't I tag BOTH of you (Jenelle and me) for a music meme? Y'all are required by the Holy and Sacrosanct Laws of Bloggery to respond to memes posthaste or risk having your Potato license revoked. :)". My apologies, and I do have a good excuse. Life is unpredictable.
I disconnected. Opened the document I saved the meme on and concentrated. Then the phone rung. It was Martine (pronounced Marteene). My best friend's sister. Flash back. The day before I'd gone over to my BF's place for a long-time-no-see-hi-how-are-you visit. He wasn't back from work so I had a good chat with his mum instead. We talked, laughed at silly jokes, I made faces because she was preparing her dogs' (2 "bergers allemand") food. I said good goodbye and see you later and went to mend over businesses. Back to the next day. Then the phone rung. It was Martine (pronounced Marteene). My best friend's sister. She tells me she's got news to break to me. I thought "She's pregnant". I thought "my BF brother is getting married". I thought "Ced (short for Cedric, my best friend) is getting engaged". I thought about a lot of possible news she was going to fill me in about. Good news. She said to me "my mum died". I thought "This is a joke. A bad joke. She can't possibly be joking about something like this. She's serious. Auntie M died." What I said was "She can't possibly have died. I just saw her yesterday afternoon. We laughed, we talked, she looked fine to me." She started sobbing then and it got through. Not quite but enough for me to tell her how sorry I was. she hang up and I sat here. In front of my PC. Dazed. clutching at pens and pencils and sheets of paper. My boss who'd stopped by the door stood there staring at me. He asked me whether I was OK. I smiled and told him "Am fine, my best friend and neighbour's mum died." He asked me whether she'd been sick. I said of course not. She's fine. He looked hard at me and say you make take the day off if you wish to. I think it's the "She's fine" instead of "she was fine" that made him give me the day off. That's why I didn't submit my meme Suley. But Life goes on. I shall work on it by the end of the week.
It's been a very hard and shitty week-end. Harder considering the fact that Auntie M was 55 years old. Her husband is more that 80 and was the one making preparations for his eventual depart because he hasn't been keeping well lately. Harder considering she is the youngest of four daughters. Harder, considering I saw her on the eve fine and fit and well. Hard. Real hard. I sat next to my BF and he was humming under his breath. I couldn't believe it. His mum was there, dead and he was humming. Then he started bitting his nails to blood. I shut my mouth and sat back. I understood. Every one copes with devastation his way. I felt useless and dumb telling them I was sorry and that everything was gonna be all right. It sounded so hollow and senseless. But life goes on right. So maybe I'll get the meme over by day after tomorrow.
This morning I went out at 5.30 am for a jog. I needed to exorcise. It felt good. I was ready to start a new day. On my way to work my next seat neighbour pulled her newspaper out. Juicy news. Some guy had slaughtered his four year old daughter then stabbed his wife to death. Forty nine times. He then tried committing suicide. He could've stabbed himself. No, he preferred pills. He hasn't died. I felt sick. My blue bright sunny new day was greying. I get motion sickness but this was definitely not the motion. But hey, life goes on. Then, listen Suley, I think am finally going to work this meme today. Later on.
Still on the way to work. I turned away from my newspaper reader and looked out of the window. Mauritius is beautiful. All green. Those sugar cane fields. The Cybercity. Yes, they're turning Mauritius into a Cyber Island. Whatever that means. The Sugar cane fields are still here but till when, time will tell. Traffic Jam. Everybody works in Port Louis. The Capital. That's because most businesses are located here. They're working towards a decentralization. It'll help reduce the traffic jams in the morning. The grey on my day was slowly dissipating. I just had to keep away from the newspaper and its reader. I was gonna be fine. Just keep looking out of the window. Oh, look there. What's this? Ohmygod! I was staring at the minced remnants of a dog. Crushed. Finished. Goowy. Jenelle am so very sorry. I put my head on my knees and waited for the dizziness to pass. I made it to work. I don't know how. But then, Life Goes on. Suley, you're getting the meme right now. Who am I to dare violate the Holy and Sacrosanct Laws of Bloggery huh?
What did Auntie M die of? 55 is very young to be dying, especially for a woman. I can see a man dying at that age, but it is odd for a woman to die so young. And why was she married to a man 25 years older than her? That seems very strange.
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou thinkst thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and souls delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swellst thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death thou shalt die.
-John Donne, Holy Sonnet X
I'll go read your meme now.
-Suley (Comment this)
How and why she died? Non loso. They say her cardiac failure. That means you're dead. It doesn't tell you why. What we are taught to say is Inna Leellah Wa Eena Ilayhee Raajee une (We are Go's and to Him we shall return), in other words ashes to ashes .... (if am not mistaken). Well, since science did nothing to enlighten me, am glad I believe in the fact that when your time comes, you got. Fatalistic? I don't think so....
Thank you Suley, for the poem.
BTW, excuse me but you are no idioto. You couldn't possibly know right?!
Thanks.
Fitèna (Comment this)